In the spirit of Mother’s Day I wanted to write a post that was simple, practical, and meaningful. I wanted to take a break from parenting to write about us moms. I do believe that sometimes it is necessary to step away from focusing on the kids and turn our attention on ourselves.
We want our children to be happy. We want them to have friends, achieve academically, and be successful. We have a parenting goal. We are good mothers. We are loving, nurturing, giving, and kind. We worry about our kids, read articles for best parenting practices, ask advice, and enroll our children in classes that support their development and enhance their chances for success. We cook, clean, nurse, chauffer, teach, problem solve, and love our children to the point of exhaustion. Our parenting plan is extensive and our days are full.
When I meet with parents for coaching I am always moved by the love and dedication moms have for their children. Yet when they begin to share their ambitious parenting goals it is almost always I find the conversation slowly turns in the direction of mom’s feeling stressed, overwhelmed and depressed. That is because there is no place in the overflowing parenting plan that schedules time for mom. And it is this simple truth- when mom is depleted, the whole household suffers. If you really want to be a good mom, take care of yourself!
Here are my personal thoughts on taking care of you. I understand that your free time is limited and I know it’s difficult to find time for yourself so these ideas are nothing extravagant. They are basic rituals that are simple to do, easy to implement, and most importantly consider you and your wellbeing in your parenting plan.
- First and fore most let go of the guilt! Most of us would rather drop from exhaustion than face the guilt of caring for our own needs.
- Know what matters to you, love what matters to you, and spend more time doing what matters to you (a hobby, reading a book, meeting a friend for coffee).
- It’s okay not to get it all done. Know it, believe it, and practice it!
- Cut yourself some slack. It’s okay if you don’t have it all together all the time. Accept that we are filled with flaws. Our kids will have flaws. Embrace the flaws. Let go of worry. It’s all okay.
- From time to time, walk away and let someone else handle frustrating situations.
- Give up the control.
- Exercise for the right reasons - to feel good inside, boost your energy, and relieve stress – not to look a certain way.
- Spend time alone. This is an excellent way to regroup, refocus, and remember that you are your own friend
- Laugh, love and seek out fun everyday – plan to make those moments happen.
Our children are always watching and learning from us. Through us they learn how to behave and how love themselves. By taking time for yourself you are teaching them that your needs matter too. It’s the small things we do that become our habits, that become our days, that become our years, and that become our lives. So be a good mom. It’s what your kids deserve. Take care of yourself.