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Motherhood Evolving

Motherhood Evolving

Do you ever look at your life and wonder, what’s happened?

You’ve lost yourself in motherhood and it now feels like the woman you used to be is missing.  You’re exhausted, unhappy and frustrated with the change that has become your life.

There’s a common misconception among mothers that being a parent is something we were born to do. We believe that if parenting is something we are meant to do then it should come naturally, be easy, and feel good.

The truth is, parenting isn’t always what we had imagined. It can be exhausting and overwhelming. It comes with struggles and challenges and can be hard in ways we cannot even begin to describe. Not every minute is filled with meaningful activity, and the days are not all roses, sunshine, and unicorns.

Some days (many days) being a parent will leave us feeling frustrated, doubtful, and worn-out. We’ll question what went wrong. Our confidence will be rocked, and our self-esteem shaken. We’ll wonder if we’re cut out for the job.

The reality is, as soon as we have kids, we are forced to evolve. We’re required to grow and mature almost instantly. On difficult days motherhood may put us in an identity crisis as we search to discover meaning and look to understand this evolution - who we were, who we are, and who we are becoming.

It’s important to understand parenting is a process not an event. Becoming a parent means evolving to the next stage of your life. It means having to change and learn new skills as we grow into a new and (hopefully) better version of ourselves.

Some of us will embrace the change and the process will be relatively easy. For many of us though, change is rarely a comfortable, easy or enjoyable process and we can count on there being obstacles along the journey.

Our personal travels will require courage as we face old belief systems we’re plagued with from how we were parented. We’ll need to resist succumbing to other people’s opinions and expectations of us, and we’ll have to look closely at our lives today to reconcile what we show the world and how we really live.

The change to motherhood will require us to do lots of thinking and reflecting and we’ll need to own our doubts and our frustrations. That’s part of the deal.

If the process of change is so darn hard and uncomfortable, what is the benefit of evolving?

Well motherhood has already happened. Like it or not, embrace it or not, there is no turning back!

If we resist the change we create a lot of tension in our lives. You’re going to cry, you’re going to want to hide from your life, and you’re going to spend a lot of time indulging in wishful thinking about all the ways you wish your life was different - including how you wish you had never had kids.

On the other hand, if we decide rather to look forward, lean in and understand the process of parenthood, we can choose to make small changes over time and the benefits of accepting and embracing our new lives are plenty.

Once you begin evolving into a new space and reconciling your past and your present you’re going to feel much more at peace. Walking your new true parenting path is going to feel clearer and easier (note I said easier, not easy!) You’ll feel less restless, more at ease, and more capable in the parenting you do and the mother you will be.

It’s true, the woman you were before becoming a mother no longer exists! However, the benefits of reconciling this change for you, your kids, and your family comes with peace, contentment, and an emotional safety and security for everyone that will last a lifetime.

Changing patterns of behavior is hard, and it can be confusing and challenging to try new things. It’s also easy to give up when something new doesn’t work out and then to come up with plenty of excuses about why it doesn’t work.

I want you to know my support is always available.

If you relate to any of this information and want to learn more about how I can help you, or if you want to schedule a free phone conversation to see if my coaching is right for your family, please email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

Your parenting counts!

Heart of Connecting

My work is dedicated to supporting parents and early childhood educators in understanding and reducing challenging behavior in young children at home and in the preschool classroom.

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